Category Archives: oh this is hard

Time

I have bemoaned time’s swift passage my whole life.  I’m a broken record, actually: I write, I talk, and I think endlessly about this.  Tempus fugit was almost the name of this blog. And, suddenly, in the last couple of months, that has changed radically.  Now time’s crawling.  It’s been two months since my father […]

Earthquake

sunset over the reception after my father’s funeral, 12/3/17, photo by Grace How shall the heart be reconciled/ to its feast of losses? I’ve written about these lines, from Stanley Kunitz’s beautiful poem The Layers, many times.  That fact makes me shake my head now … I never knew what loss meant, until these weeks, […]

Thanksgiving and the fullness of life

This is always a poignant time of year, and this year it feels more so than usual.  I wrote last year about Thanksgiving 2002, when Matt’s father had his heart transplant, when the course of our family’s life bent permanently.  Last year Matt’s whole family gathered to celebrate his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, which was […]

Commencement

Tomorrow, both children graduate – Whit from sixth grade and Grace from eighth.  At the school they’ve both been at since they were four, sixth grade and eighth grade are inflection points (the other is twelfth grade), so they each have graduation ceremonies.  As you can probably imagine, I’m perpetually in tears these days and […]

Matrescence 2.0

December 2002 I loved reading The Birth of a Mother in the New York Times, and not just because that photograph reminded me of one of my favorite photos of Grace when she was a baby (see above, December 2002).  I read the article, which asserts that matrescence (the process of becoming a mother – […]

your days are short here

I have had Adlai Stevenson’s line about “your days are short here” in my head recently. I love his whole speech, in particular those last lines, and have written about them before.  But it’s specifically the notion of something drawing to a close that feels salient to me right now. I can’t get the line […]

The struggle and the beauty

this picture, which I took yesterday morning and shared on Instagram, reminds me of the photograph below I have written about how I listen to On Being podcasts in the morning when I run.  I do so at 1.5x, a detail that Matt thinks is a metaphor for my whole life.  Last week, I listened […]

one big glorious swirl

The world is in riotous bloom.  We are reminded at every turn of beginnings, fecundity, growth.  The days are long and warm, and summer glints on the horizon, and everywhere I look there are bare legs and smiles.  This is the height of spring: dizzy, jubilant, glorious. But I can’t stop experiencing lasts.  In the […]

Thank you

Thank you. I feel intensely aware lately of how grateful I am that anyone’s reading here.  I mean that.  It’s been a difficult few months – that’s not a secret – and the steadfast comments here often make my day(s). Thank you, thank you. If you ever doubt that small actions make a huge difference, […]

The second half

There is so much beauty in my front yard.  No, this metaphor doesn’t escape me. Last Friday morning, I spilled an entire cup of coffee on my laptop.  It died immediately.  I spent the next several hours at the Apple store, then, once home, on the phone with Apple customer service because setting up the […]