Category Archives: musings

Regret

I suspect we can all agree that regret is one of the most toxic of the emotions.  It is both paralyzing and, fundamentally, useless.  I have my share of regrets, but lately I’ve been thinking about how there are certain things that I never regret and others that I always regret.  And even though I […]

Thank you

Thank you. I feel intensely aware lately of how grateful I am that anyone’s reading here.  I mean that.  It’s been a difficult few months – that’s not a secret – and the steadfast comments here often make my day(s). Thank you, thank you. If you ever doubt that small actions make a huge difference, […]

Thoughts on Mother’s Day

When I was growing up Mother’s Day wasn’t really a thing in our family.  I’ll be honest that I still don’t love it as a holiday – feels a little contrived to me. And the truth is what I really want on “my” day is a regular day (perhaps this is a midlife thing, like […]

A conversation between grief and celebration

These photos were taken 10 years ago last week. Do I feel heartbreak when I look at them?  Absolutely. I’ve been listening to Krista Tippett’s marvelous On Being podcasts when I run.  Most recently, I heard her interview David Whyte.  It was this assertion that struck me, more than any other: An elegy … is […]

Checking in, paying attention, and friendship

an old photo, with Lisa and another dear friend-of-the-heart Denise Ullem, May 2011 I absolutely loved Laura Zigman’s Salon piece about what she learned about friendship from Lisa Bonchek Adams, The Worst Thing That Can Happen is that Friends Disappear. I was fortunate enough to know Lisa also, and everything Zigman writes resonates.  Lisa was […]

Every Mother Counts

I love what Christy Turlington is doing with Every Mother Counts.  I was thrilled to cheer her on in the Boston Marathon a week ago, and I wear my own EMC shirt with pride (see above, June 2014).  It’s a totally random coincidence, but I’ve also been particularly aware of Christy ever since she and […]

Is this the opposite of ease?

It’s Saturday morning, 6:24.  I’ve been up since 5:00.  Woke up and just could not go back to sleep.  Matt got home very late from a trip and so he’s sleeping.  Whit just got up and despite my entreaties that he go back to bed, he’s sitting at his desk, down the hall from mine, […]

Georgia

I almost wrote my thesis on Georgia O’Keeffe.  I wanted to do a joint thesis between the English and Art History departments, focusing on O’Keeffe’s work (primarily her bone paintings) and the poetry of hd. I didn’t.  I ended up, as I’ve covered at length here, writing about the topic of the mother-daughter relationship in […]

The line between honoring & dismissing

I am a sensitive person.  I have sensitive children.  None of this is news. I have often in my life felt as though I have to get a grip, get over it, be less sensitive, be less intense, stop taking things personally.  These admonitions to myself are deeply embedded in my self-conscious, and I am […]

INFJ

I have written at length about the Myers-Briggs, about my own type (INFJ), about how recognizing my introversion helped me understand my behaviors and preferences.  Susan Cain’s Quiet was an important book for me in that realization (and, as an aside, writing for her site, The Quiet Revolution, is a huge honor).  At the end […]