Category Archives: musings

Close to the mystery

It was my friend Lacy Crawford who recently used the expression “close to the mystery,” and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.  Close to that gossamer boundary between worlds, fo which I wrote years ago, close to births and deaths and transitions.  For some reason I think often of the […]

Knowing the tide’s coming in, but still celebrating the sand castles we can build before it does

So many people told me to read Ongoingness: The End of a Diary by Sarah Manguso.  Tens and tens of them.  So many I lost track.  And I finally I did.  And wow. Ongoingness is spare and sublime, a meditation on time and memory and motherhood and the meaning of life.  “The book’s themes are […]

The season of amazement

Magnolias remind me powerfully of college, and of this particularly, wonder-full time of year I write often about wonder here (I think wonder is one of the most-often used words in blog post titles of mine, and probably in the text of posts, too).  It’s true that I feel awe and amazement on a regular […]

Narrowing

I loved Shauna Niequist’s post, Narrowing.  I read it several times, and relate to so much of what she says.  Well, other than the fact that she’s clearly a spring chicken still in her thirties!  But, seriously: There’s a narrowing that takes place as you grow up, I think—you leave more and more behind: things […]

Two years ago

it feels impossible not to acknowledge today, the marathon, the memory of two years ago.  I wrote this then and the picture gives me goosebumps.  Grace looked big then but of course now she’s two years taller and older.  At the last visit to the doctor, 5’1″.  And she runs more now – in fact […]

Insides and Outsides

I’ve written before about the perilous gulf between perception and reality, and about the dangerous assumptions people make about others (okay, fine, me) based on outsides. Outsides and insides are not the same. When I was much younger, and struggling in a difficult period, someone very dear to me expressed frustration and disbelief.  How I […]

Reflections on the Here Year

At the top of Notre Dame, Paris, March 18th.  My memories of this moment include the sight of Paris spread below us, as well as the awe-inspiring, echoing sound of the bells and the uneven, centuries-worn stones under my feet.  I was there. Tomorrow marks the last day of Aidan‘s Here Year, in which I […]

Moments when time stands still

Where were you when you heard that the Challenger exploded?  I was in the hallway outside my 6th grade classroom.  The school receptionist told me the news. Where were you when you heard Princess Diana had died in a car crash in Paris?  I was in a bar in the Adirondacks. Where were you when […]

The Alphabet of Right Now

In 2009, 2011, and 2013 I wrote posts about the “alphabet” of my life at that moment.  I like the construct as a way to capture the specific nuances of a moment, and reading Deborah Copaken’s piece The ABC’s of Adulthood, reminded me of it.  Seeing that it’s 2015, it seems time for my bi-annual […]

Mamalode: The Entire World Contracted

It feels fitting that Mamalode has published my piece, The Entire World Contracted, about a moment I’ll never forget during my first pregnancy, on the day my last baby turns 10 (which I will write about tomorrow!). I hope you will click over and read my short piece here. And the seasons, they go round […]