Last lines

I love the dedications of books.  I’ve written about that particular interest before.  I’ll also admit that I had figured out the dedication of a book I’ve written, a book that will live forever in a box under my desk.

I am similarly interested in the last lines or paragraphs of books.  Some of my favorites (some are famous, some are less) are below.  What are your favorite last lines?

Abide with Me– Elizabeth Strout

“All gone,” she said. He kissed her cheek, and she put her head against his neck. And everything seemed remarkable, the familiar scent of his child, the snarl in the back of her hair, the quiet house, the bare birch trees, the snow on his face. Remarkable.

The Mill on the Floss – George Eliot

They had gone forth together into their life of sorrow, and they would never more see the sunshine undimmed by remembered cares.  They had entered the thorny wilderness, and the golden gates of their childhood had forever closed behind them.

Vanity Fair – William Thackeray

Ah!  Vanitas Vanitatum!  Which of us is happy in the world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied? – Come children, let us shut up the box and the puppets, for our play is played out.

Angle of Repose – Wallace Stegner

Wisdom, I said oh so glibly the other day when I was pontificating on Shelley’s confusions, is knowing what you have to accept. In this not-quite-quiet darkness, while the diesel breaks its heart more and more faintly on the mountain grade, I lie wondering if I am man enough to be a bigger man than my grandfather.

The Great Gatsby –  F. Scott Fitzgerald (perhaps the best known last line of all, I think – I’m including more here because I adore the sentence about something commensurate to man’s capacity for wonder)

Most of the big shore places were closed now and there were hardly any lights except the shadowy, moving glow of a ferryboat across the Sound. And as the moon rose higher the inessential houses began to melt away until gradually I became aware of the old island here that flowered once for Dutch sailors’ eyes—a fresh, green breast of the new world. Its vanished trees, the trees that had made way for Gatsby’s house, had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder.

And as I sat there, brooding on the old unknown world, I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning——

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

The Sun Also Rises– Ernest Hemingway

“Oh Jake,” Brett said, “We could have had such a damned good time together.”
Ahead was a mounted policeman in khaki directing traffic. He raised his baton. The car slowed suddenly, pressing Brett against me.
Yes,” I said. “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

To the Lighthouse – Virginia Woolf

She looked at the steps; they were empty; she looked at her canvas; it was blurred.  With a sudden intensity, as if she saw it clear for a second, she drew a line there, in the centre.  It was done; it was finished.  Yes, she thought, laying down her brush in extreme fatigue, I have had my vision.

Moon Tiger – Penelope Lively

The sun sinks and the glittering tree is extinguished. The room darkens again. Presently it is quite dim; the window is violet now, showing  the black tracery of branches and a line of houses packed with squares of light.  And within the room a change has taken place. It is empty. Void. It has the stillness of a place in which there are only inanimate objects: metal, wood, glass, plastic. No life. Something creaks; the involuntary sound of expansion of contraction. Beyond the window a car starts up, an aeroplane passes overhead. The world moves on. And beside the bed the radio gives the time signal and a voice starts to read the six o’clock news.

the unutterable gravity

I find the soul a valuable concept, a statement of the dignity of a human life and of the unutterable gravity of human action and experience.

– Marilynne Robinson, The Givenness of Things

Constellations

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Part of the Star Finder that Whit made in the second half of this past weekend’s Family Science Saturday about the night sky.

Our school has a marvelous tradition of offering Family Science Saturdays occasionally throughout the year. It’s a great joy to me that Whit really likes to go.  This past weekend, we spent Saturday  morning flat on our backs inside an inflatable planetarium.  Whit and I crawled into the silver dome of plastic through a low tube of plastic, and we took our places lying down with our feet in the middle and our heads at the outside of the circle.

Once our eyes had acclimated to the dark, Miss D, Whit’s Science teacher, began to talk to us about constellations.  Since the beginning of time, she averred, people have looked up at the stars, and tried to see patterns.

Isn’t that what we are all doing, all the time?  Looking – up, out, across, down – and trying to see a pattern in the assortment of details that we observe?  Witnessing, and naming, if we can, that vast design, after which I named this blog almost ten years ago?

Miss D turned on the projector, and the planetarium filled with constellations.  “Mum!” I heard Whit whisper in my ear.  “That’s Orion!”  I could not tell where hsi hand was pointing, because it was so dark.  But I nodded and looked back and forth along the curved ceiling, trying to find the three stars in a row that mark Orion’s belt.

“I can’t see it, Whit,” I murmured.

“Right here,” he took my hand and pointed it to the ceiling.  “Follow your hand.  Right there.  Looks sort of like a scorpion?”

“So,” Miss D began, “first, we’ll talk about Orion.”  She turned on a laser pointer and the red dot showed us where Orion was.  I could feel Whit nodding next to me.  Then she told us about Andromeda, Cassiopeia, and Perseus.  As I lay there, listening to her voice and watching the constellations above, I thought about Kilimanjaro, all those years ago, about seeing the Big Dipper and the Southern Cross int he sky at the same time, about my deep belief that life is about learning to navigate by the stars.

That’s still true, and I’m still learning.  I know how to find Orion now.  My son showed me.  One of a zillion things he’s shown me already, and I know there are at least a zillion more ahead.

the bright freight of memory

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On the morning when we bought a talking camel, December 2011, Jerusalem, Israel

“Okay, buddy, one more page.”

Whit nodded and kept reading his current book, Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson’s Greek Gods.  We were sitting in my bed reading together, which is always a highlight of my day.  How long will he eagerly run downstairs and jump into bed to read next to me?  I stood up and he turned down the corner of the the page and slowly we headed up to his bedroom.

He climbed into his lower bunk and pulled up his covers as I turned off the overhead light and switched on the nightlight, which is in the shape of a Bruins zamboni and was a Christmas present from Grace last year.  Whit made sure he had the four special animals that he sleeps with.  I kneeled by his bed.  I love bedtime.  Every single time I tuck a child in and say “I’ll see you in the morning” I am aware of what an incandescent privilege it is.

I leaned over to kiss his forehead as he whispered the same prayers he says every night.

“I love you.  I love you.  I love you.”

He sat up in surprise. The sing-songy voice of a camel that we bought in Jerusalem on the Mount of Olives spoke from the top bunk.

“Daddy?”

Matt’s laugh erupted from the top bunk as he sat up.  Both Whit and I started laughing too, and I heard Grace’s footsteps on the stairs as she dashed up to join us.  An aside: much like Whit reading with me in bed, another thing I am clinging to, and loving, even as I know its days are numbered is Grace thundering to join the rest of the family when she hears us laughing.  This reminds me of knowing the tide’s coming in and building sandcastles anyway

Grace clambered into bed with Whit, and Matt joined them once he’d climbed down the ladder.  He was still squeezing the camel, whose robotic voice kept saying “I love you.  I love you.  I love you.”

Ordinary life is a slurry of mundane moments which is occasionally dotted with a glittering experience of dazzling beauty.  I know that being aware of and awake to that slurry allows us to see the glimmer.  I also know that it’s unusual for me to be aware, as I live a moment, that it is one of those that I’ll think back to and remember. In fact I write a lot about how complex and unknowable is the algorithm through which experience becomes memory.  Last week’s laughter-filled bedtime was a rare experience of knowing even as I lived a series of minutes that they would become a cherished stone in my memory’s pocket,  burnished from being held, turned over, recalled.

Will it be one of Grace’s and Whit’s, a moment that stands out in their recollections of their childhood? I can’t know. I think of the Pat Conroy quote from The Prince of Tides that I used as an epigraph to an essay I wrote in high school:

There are no verdicts to childhood, only consequences, and the bright freight of memory.

I hope that sliver of time last week, the minutes we all shared in Whit’s nightlight-lit room, laughing hard and remembering a chilly, windy morning on the Mount of Olives when the children bought talking camels will be a part of Grace and Whit’s bright freight of memory of these years.  It will be for me.

 

A poem begins as a lump in the throat

“The grand scheme of a life, maybe (just maybe), is not about knowing or not knowing, choosing or not choosing. Perhaps what is truly known can’t be described or articulated by creativity or logic, science or art — but perhaps it can be described by the most authentic and meaningful combination of the two: poetry: As Robert Frost wrote, a poem ‘begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It is never a thought to begin with.’

I recommend the following course of action for those who are just beginning their careers or for those like me, who may be reconfiguring midway through: heed the words of Robert Frost. Start with a big, fat lump in your throat, start with a profound sense of wrong, a deep homesickness, or a crazy lovesickness, and run with it.”

― Debbie Millman

I found this passage on Rudri’s beautiful blog, which I read every day (and suggest you do too!).