Lifetime friendships in numbers

Last weekend my group of college friends held our third annual reunion-of-sorts.  The first year went to Florida.  The second year, Rhode Island.  This year, we met at the Jersey shore, at the house where so many of our most treasured (and, sometimes, blurriest) college memories took place.  We were 15 strong: 14 adult women and 1 4 1/2 month old girl.  I can’t put into words what these women mean to me.  That doesn’t mean I haven’t tried. Almost exactly six years ago I wrote this:

…there really isn’t a day when I don’t marvel at how lucky I am to have each of you in my life. What extraordinary role models and companions you are! We’re all making – and will continue to make – different and varied choices, and I trust that we’ll continue to respect and honor each other no matter what those choices are. This kind of implicit understanding is rare and special, and the further I travel away from Princeton the more convinced I am that the friendships I made there will be the most enduring of my life. There will be and are other incredibly special friends, but as a community you all are ground zero: yardstick and safe haven, the people who knew me when I was becoming who I am.

I can’t possibly capture the weekend in words, but I will try to sketch it in data:

Number of years we have all known each other: 20 (for a handful of us, that is 23 or more, because we went to high school together)

Lobsters consumed on Saturday night: 12

Children between us: 24 (and another one will join the team this winter)

Bottles of white wine we drank: lost track

Advanced degrees we hold: 16

States we live in: 9

Bottles of red wine we drank: 4

Pairs of J Brand skinny cargo pants worn: at least 5

Number of times I laughed so hard my stomach hurt: more than I can count

Photos from college scanned in for a slideshow: over 100

Hours on the playlist KEB made for us to dance to: 4.5

Love I have for these women, who are the baseline and the heartbeat of my life: infinite


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  1. Posted October 4, 2012 at 5:08 am | Permalink

    Yet again, such a wonderful tribute to friendship and to the women you all must be to maintain such a bond in this busy, busy world.

  2. Posted October 4, 2012 at 11:37 am | Permalink

    These friendship bonds we form are strong than kinship.

  3. Posted October 4, 2012 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    Wow. How amazing. This kind of respectful and supportive community of women really is a rare gift. Especially a group this large. How wonderful for each and every one of you. Sounds like a truly important group.

  4. Posted October 4, 2012 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    love reading and hearing about communities like this, the ones that have stood the test of time and life and growing. what a blessing!

  5. Posted October 4, 2012 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    May your tribe continue to strengthen and deepen as the years go by.
    This seems very East Coast to me (says the girl who has never lived on the East Coast).

  6. sonam
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm | Permalink

    i am a father of a daughter.

    I give everything that my 7 years old daughter ask for i know when she grows old enough she will be entangled in the race of life searching for the happiness. I want her to feel happy at least in some part of her life. But recently she asked me for iPod and i am saving money to buy that for her. Is it wrong to do that.

  7. Posted October 4, 2012 at 7:24 pm | Permalink

    This blows me away: that 14 of you have stayed so close and all made the commitment to travel to be together for the weekend. What a blessing to share the gift of friendship with so many special women.

    (I’m jealous. I admit.)


  8. Kathryn
    Posted October 4, 2012 at 8:25 pm | Permalink

    Four. Only four bottles of red. I know.