What I know now

These are a few things I know to be true right now.

  • Delight and despair are shadows thrown by different lights on the same large object.  Or the same light against different hulking masses.  I don’t know quite, but they are entirely related, twisted together, inextricable.
  • A walk outside, in any weather, is the best way to reorient myself to my place (miniscule) in the universe.
  • Sometimes it feels like some weird combination of inertia and sheer will is keeping me from shattering into a million tiny shards.  These times come, and they pass, and they come again.  I must learn not to panic.
  • I will never be able to fully measure the weight of awe, the power of wonder.
  • Most people are deeply good at their core.  Some are not.  I’m skilled, but not infallible, at discerning which is which.
  • The morning is my favorite time of day.  Running in the pre-dawn and coming home to my hot coffee and sleeping house are some of the happiest moments of my life.
  • As soon as I feel like I’ve got my balance, the ground under my feet will shift.  Everything changes, and stability is an illusion.  I can either white-knuckle my way through this, or learn to flow with the changes.  My default is the former, I long for the latter.
  • Poetry speaks to me – and to many – on a level that runs beneath the rational.
  • The central task of adulthood, for many of us, is letting go of how we thought our lives were going to be.

What do you know to be true?


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12 Comments

  1. Posted January 30, 2012 at 5:29 am | Permalink

    I love this. It speaks to so much of what I’ve been feeling lately (minus the early morning running!) Thanks for putting it into words.xoK

  2. Posted January 30, 2012 at 5:55 am | Permalink

    Your morning routine appeals to me on so many levels. Far better than arriving at the office at 6:30. I must figure out a way to remedy that.

    P.S. Love that you did this.
    xo

  3. Posted January 30, 2012 at 7:52 am | Permalink

    thank you for this, lindsey. what i know to be true right now…my intention to feel ease (word of the year) is supported by connecting with my body, slowing down, finding moments of stillness and silence, being/breathing in nature.

  4. Posted January 30, 2012 at 8:56 am | Permalink

    This title sounds Shapiro-esque. Two of your points I am currently working on – to accept that our lives are not what we planned and to not freak out during the harder times, understanding they will pass. Right now, I think I am past the midpoint in accepting these…..I’m doing pretty well ….. for now!

    I also agree with the walking outside.

    As far as judging people, I have no intuition – I just don’t. I basically put everyone on a pedestal to start with and they slowly get moved down. This is what I need to work diligently on. But somewhere deep inside me, I think that those who appear not good, have good in their core. I can’t help it. I just do.

    And your morning time seems peaceful, but I am too scared of those [whose good is very covered up and repressed]… who are lurking out there…….

  5. Shenu
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 10:03 am | Permalink

    Sister Lindsay,

    I appreciate you for sharing. Love that early a.m. routine,just beautiful.

    For me, watching the sunrise and doing a walking meditation while playing my kalimba has become the source of MUCH joy.

    Keep writing, beloved!

    Peace & blessings.

  6. Posted January 30, 2012 at 10:06 am | Permalink

    Oh Lindsey this is so what I needed today! I too must learn not to panic.

  7. Laura
    Posted January 30, 2012 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    I make these types of lists, too. I identify with many of them, particularly re: the walk outdoors, the running and the last one.

    I’ve been rolling around in the truth that the degree to which is grasp or resist reality is the degree to which I suffer. Same way of saying your last point, I suppose.

    Also that no time when I put my daughter first will be regretted.

  8. Posted January 30, 2012 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

    Like you, my morning run and coffee is my personal meditation. My runs complete me. And what you say about balance and shifts resonates with me deeply. Especially right now. Thanks for sharing. It prompts me to really think about what I do know. I spend way too much time thinking about all the things that I don’t know.

  9. Posted January 30, 2012 at 9:32 pm | Permalink

    I know that no matter how hard the moment is right now, it will pass. I know that I have the strength to weather it out, even if I don’t want to.

    I wish I could get my butt out of bed and do an early morning run. It sounds fantastic but I always seem to choose fighting those last sleeps in my warm comfy bed.

  10. Posted February 2, 2012 at 8:32 pm | Permalink

    I have had this post sitting in my Firefox tabs for days as I’ve read and reread it, and contemplated responding. Sad to say after all these days, I’ve got nothing profound, just a lot of nodding my head and murmurs of agreement. Thank you for this posting.

  11. Posted February 5, 2012 at 8:42 am | Permalink

    “The central task of adulthood, for many of us, is letting go of how we thought our lives were going to be.”
    The sooner we make peace with what never was and accept what is the sooner we enjoy the gifts we’ve been given in the present.
    Great post!

  12. Posted February 12, 2012 at 1:28 pm | Permalink

    I just came across your website after reading the latest Whole Living magazine. Wow, I am already blown away by your beautiful words that speak my language. You have touched my heart. I can’t wait to read more. I started being more present in my life. I make an effort every day to enjoy the trees, birds, moon and everything that crosses my path. I look forward to reading more. Thank you 🙂