Comments on: My real life has already begun

By: Heidi

Heidi — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 00:25:06 +0000

I have never run across anyone EVER who understands my point of view until I read some of your pages. I was told once that some people feel sadness more keenly than others. And I am often told I am pessimistic. But pessimism is not explaining what i feel. I felt loss every day that my new son aged. I feel myself dying, as well. Not literally, but the time seems so short and death is flying toward us. I think everyone is in a denial so deep that they can never understand how I feel. My outlook may have darkness but it is also clear. I feel the sadness only because I love so much.

By: Cristina

Cristina — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 07:00:04 +0000

Jon Kabat-Zinn has been my most important teacher in my effort to just be. Wherever You Go, There You Are and Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting are good places to start. (I too cherish my copy of Be Here Now.)

By: Debbie

Debbie — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 16:09:10 +0000

What a gift you have for expressing your thoughts and feelings. How wonderful that in your honesty you touch so many other lives.

“I was never really there. And sometime in the past couple of years, I realized I was missing my life”

My story is a little bit different. About 19 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I have a hard time concentrating and motivating myself to do things. At itmes I feel as though I’m absent from my own life.

Most of the time I numb myself with food and computer games to the point where I do almost nothing. Hence, I’ve come to believe that I’m not capable of doing what needs to be done or even what I want to do.

I am most definitely missing out on my life. There’s so much I would like to do.

I am working on living more authentically, living in the moment and figuring out how I’m going to live the 2nd half of my life (I turned 50 this year).

Thank you for your honesty.

By: Katrina Kenison

Katrina Kenison — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:42:04 +0000

Oh Lindsey, You are doing it, girl. I can’t tell you how honored I am to be called your teacher, in any sense of the word. I am so glad that you found solace and sustenance in my story, and so moved by yours, as you continue to share it with all of us. I am still stumbling along through my own life, surprised to realize that it doesn’t actually get easier. But maybe we do get just a little more comfortable with discomfort, a little more used to not knowing, a little more gentle with ourselves. Most days, that’s enough.

By: Privilege of Parenting

Privilege of Parenting — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 03:46:04 +0000

It’s inspiring to read this post and then see how many souls it resonated for. I’ve missed so many moments, but the ones we show up for really do bring the sunshine on a cloudy day; perhaps the most liberating thing about all this presence to the moment stuff is that the past is all water under the bridge and just showing up for this pulsing second somehow redeems all the missed ones… or not.

By: Christine LaRocque

Christine LaRocque — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:55:39 +0000

Interesting discussion, it hits home to so many of us, but I think the important point is that it’s on DIFFERENT levels. What being present means to one persent is completely different to another, and is also dependent on stage in life, and any given day. During the first year of both of my children’s life, it wasn’t a battle worth fighting, I was too tired. I couldn’t think past finding another hour of sleep. It was all consuming just to get through. Fast forward to now and it means something completely different, it’s about finding time to be with my children while I try to juggle career, marriage, myself, my friends, all of the things that are also important in my life. Being present is so hard because I’m so fragmented, and yet I choose that fragmentation, I want to play all these roles because they define the different parts of me and naturally none of them exist in exclusion so that no one can ever exist on it’s own. I fully expect what it will mean to change again and again, because we grow and change. And I think that’s key, and I’m certain I’ve commented about it here before. I understand completely how you feel you lost those moments in your children’s early lives, I see it myself in my own (my kids are 1 and 3), but I also understand that I’m doing the best that I can with what I have at the moment. And that changes, what we have at hand to help us cope, be present. So our perspective, ability to BE present changes over time. I’m not entirely sure I’m doing a good job of expressing what I’m trying to say. But I recognize a kinship between us as I live and breathe as that person who is always “multitasking” as you say. I guess that’s my point, for me, now, this is how I must live my life to be me. I hope/crave for that to change, but I haven’t found my way because I don’t believe I’ve lived the experiences I need to get there.

Obviously, I could go on and on. I also think I will come back to this post, because you express this issue with such clarity. It’s incredible. You are a wise woman, and thank you for sharing.

By: Rachel @ MWF Seeking BFF

Rachel @ MWF Seeking BFF — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:35:31 +0000

This is so inspiring because This. Is. Me. And I don’t even have kids. Even as I was reading this, I was also doing work (the day-job kind) and checking my email (work and personal), and wondering how I was going to distribute my time today. The busier I get, the more distracted I get, and just this morning I was complaining that the only result of all this is that I am not doing anything 100%. My husband this morning in the car basically told me to never check my email on my cell phone in his presence again (nicely, but i got the picture. My distractedness is affecting him). So I needed this today. Today I will refocus.

By: Ronna Detrick

Ronna Detrick — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 13:58:58 +0000

Staggeringly beautiful, Lindsey. And the words themselves, weighted and grounded in the reality that they are your truths, tell me that you ARE present. Were you not, you would not feel these aches, express these fears, articulate and embody such hope.

You ARE present in ways that, as for all of us, ebb and flow between regret and anticipation, past and future, mind and heart.

I could go on and on, but here’s what I know: were you not present, I (nor the many, many others who are reading/commenting) would not respond to and resonate with everything word you speak/write/create. Because you show up and name your own questions, your own wonderings, your own truths, I am more present to my own.

Thank you.

By: When Someone Can Say It Better (Day #81) @ EMBRACE THE DETOUR

When Someone Can Say It Better (Day #81) @ EMBRACE THE DETOUR — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 13:52:02 +0000

[...] But then I read this post by Lindsey of A Design So Vast and realized that she has said it better.My Real Life Has Already BegunBy Lindsey MeadThe effort to be present in my life has been the single most important thing I’ve [...]

By: Heather of the EO

Heather of the EO — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:49:56 +0000

Oh friend. I could seriously write a book (not a good one, a rambling thinking out loud one) in your comments right now.

About how you just described me, down to playing something else during scrabble because it’s too slow. And all the thoughts I have about this. So many. All over the place. I just love what you’ve said here.

I’ve mentioned her on my blog about a gazillion times, but Sara Groves has songs about this very thing (and so many other things that women like you and I think about). She’s a Christian artist (and to be honest, I very rarely like Christian music). Her songs are just so raw and honest and full of truth, universal really. This post reminded me of her songs “I just showed up” and “Something changed”

and lyrics like “always just one more thing, always another task. Always just one more small favor to ask. I’ll be there in a minute, just a few places to go. Wake up a few years later and your kids are grown.”

OK, I’ll stop now.

I love you to pieces.