Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind

I hit a new low yesterday. I have been wondering for several days why I have received so few RSVPs for Whit’s birthday party. For the record: not RSVPing is one of my major peeves. But still, this was an even lower turnout than usual. I bumped into a mother I know at school today and I mentioned it to her, trying to be off-hand to make up for what I felt was a rude inquiry (part of why I hate non RSVPers is I hate pestering people for what their answer is, because I feel like a jerk).

The mom mentioned off-hand that she had not recognized the email address I’d given on the invitation. Hmm. I went home and checked the invitation. An invitation that I had proofed not once but twice. And then mailed out. And never blinked about. And, right there: my email address misspelled. Great.

People think of me as very anal and type A. And in many ways I am. My closet has several shelves of shoeboxes, each with a photograph of the shoes inside stuck on the outside. My spices are alphabetized. My Christmas cards go out the first week of December. Etc, etc, etc. Loosey goosey I am not. It’s something I dearly wish I was, but, let’s face it: no.

But today’s flub is one in a short but noteworthy list of times I have been well and truly full-blown flaky. And those times make me wonder if I am slowly losing my mind. If somehow, parenthood or middle age or too much splenda or too much white wine has contributed to punch small holes in my brain, almost imperceptible but porous enough to allow my meager mind to leak out slowly. Drip, drip, drip.

The others on the list? Well, I paid the wrong mortgage company for three months. Three months. Automated billing will do that for you. But it still amazes me that the old mortgage company didn’t let me know they were getting an extra $XK every month from us that they didn’t deserve for three solid months. I also left the oven on for a whole weekend. That was pregnancy brain. But, not super responsible.

The best ever, though, was when we had our preschool interview for Grace. We parked the car, walked to the nursery school, toured and interviewed. I think we were probably at the school for 90 minutes. As we walked out, I felt in my pockets (I had been driving) and wondered aloud where the car keys were. I rummaged through my bag (side note: in said bag, today, I found a pair of Grace’s socks and an epi-pen. I did not, however, have the chapstick that I needed) as we walked to the car. No keys. Starting to panic, I looked up when Matt exclaimed, “Oh, my God” under his breath. The car. Parked on a side street. Running. I guess that explains where the keys were.

Losing. My. Mind.

18 thoughts on “Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind”

  1. Not sure if it will make you feel better or worse: I could put on your shoes so comfortably as I do the same. All the time.

    The put the milk in the post intray, the letters in the fridge. Although I passed the milk in the front room several times, it did not strike me as odd until about 4pm.

    I have locked myself out about 100 times since Dharma was born. Two of our neighbours have a set of key to our house.

    I put the wrong birthday of my daughter on a form for kindergarten, which made me look like a fool.

    Seriously, don’t worry. Most people have moments like this. Chin up, you are doing good.

    And when are you coming round to sort out my shoes?

  2. These “things” happen to all of us. Most of us don’t admit it, though.

    I want your shoes and closets. I am sure they are impeccable. 🙂

  3. Haha! While this may not have been your intent, it put a smile on my face this morning, since I am intimately familiar with your otherwise type-A life. I quite literally had one of those days last Saturday where I looked for 15 min. for the sunglasses that were… (of course) on top of my head. This really happened. xoxox

  4. you’re not alone. i got jackson a cup of milk last night and put it in the pantry. my entire kitchen smelled of death this morning as a result.

    ps- nonRSVPers suck.

    pps- i’m sure i’ll do something else insane today, in which case i’ll post you another comment so you don’t feel alone.

  5. Oh, I love this, Lindsey. Because it makes you human. We are all losing our minds all of the time. Adult life, in my estimation, is the constant attempt to keep ourselves from losing it. I love this post because it is stuffed with stories of imperfection, and humanity, and life. What would we be without our silly stories and our hole-punched minds?

    (For the record, copious amounts of Splenda and white wine are FINE. I checked.)

  6. I’ve lost my brain, too, plenty of times. I think it’s human, although I blame my forgetfulness on consuming to much dark chocolate. 🙂

    I think the ideal of flowing seamlessly perfect through life, packing details like keys and email addresses and not skipping a single beat is not always a plausible concept, although we aspire to it all the same (me included). Drat. Pass the wine (for you) and the chocolate (for me).

  7. o, to be human!! i’ve left the gas burner on low for an entire weekend, not once but thrice. i’ve left the front door key in the lock overnight a couple of times. and put my wallet in the fridge after getting myself a drink on my way out the door. the sad thing is…i have no children! i shudder to think what will happen to my memory, my mind when i finally DO have kids!!

    thanks for sharing this, i love your humanness =)

  8. You KNOW I have been there on this one! I think I’ve written half a dozen posts on it because it is SO disturbing to me! The latest – I poured Luke a cup of milk, put the cup in the fridge, and brought him the gallon of milk jug. His wide eyes got wider and wider as I tried to place the jug in his lap. Brain has left the building.

    We are all with you. I also left my car running ALL day while I was at work. It used up a quarter a tank of gas. Good thing I didn’t poison anyone wtih Carbon Monoxide.

  9. This isn’t my story, but a friend’s…

    She, like you, is super organized and detail oriented. About 18 months ago she delivered twin boys. Between one being in the NICU, trying to nurse, and well, just having delivered twin boys, her head wasn’t screwed on all the way.

    A day or so after delivery the pediatrician she had selected (via an extensive interview process) came to check on her and the babies. She had just finished nursing, the babies were sleeping, and for whatever reason she was alone in her post-partum room at that time. And so it wasn’t until AFTER the 15-or-so minute visit with the pediatrician that she realized she’d conducted the entire visit completely topless. She was mortified.

  10. It is so hard to juggle everything, and keep a sane mind. I shake my head every day at something I’ve done. And I understand now why my mother always seemed so absent minded…

  11. When I was 18, I was the opener for a club. I was responsible for keys that were worth thousands of dollars. One day, they just disappeared. I frantically called my manager and explained the situation.

    After she opened the club, she began looking through the security camera tapes. She soon figured out what happened to the missing keys. I had thrown them away. Seriously. A casual flick of my hand and *poof* the were gone.

    Strangely enough, since I have become a mom, scenes like this are more rare. I think it is because I used to not be a planner. I would lose things frequently. Finally, I put my foot down. I would become organized.

    And, I did.

    So, perhaps because I changed, I have been better.

    Maybe that is what you should do. Become more like I used to be. It could be quite amusing.

    (Just kidding. I think Kristen defined this phenomenon as “momnesia.”)

  12. I have a knowing smile on right now, Lindsey. Momnesia, indeed. We all do it. All of us. And Wolfie is right, I think the sometime feeling that we are losing our minds is what makes us (appear) more sane.

    I’ve many similar stories of mommy mess-ups. I’ve learned to laugh it off as the years have gone by and the mess-ups have piled up.

  13. Love that “momnesia” – way better sounding than mommy brain.

    I so feel the pain – I’m not quite as type a as you, at least not about things like oh, anything house related, but the completely dopey things I have done as a mom, whether from exhaustion,chaos or something else, is too long a list to even think of without crying.

  14. Do you have a label maker? If not, order one today. It’ll change your life. 🙂 Then your alphabetized spices can be in matching bottles with labels in the same font. Ah. It scratches an itch deep inside, I tell ya!

  15. I had to look this up because I am 44 and for the last few years I have been forgetting lots of things. I felt like I was really losing it. I was getting ready to post a picture up on facebook of my grand baby and my niece when all of a sudden I drew a complete blank of my niece’s name. I mean I tried for two minutes to figure out what her name was… Now that was scary..she’s only 3 and I talk to her all the time.. Time for an eval….lol

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