Comments on: Trusting Them and Myself

By: Nicki

Nicki — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:45:43 +0000

This is one of the hardest parts of parenting – walking that fine line between protection/safety and letting go/independence. I have always erred – if indeed it was an error – on the side of independence. I get looks all the time from parents to this day.

Yet, my children go away to college and can read the bus schedule and get around without the prerequisite car that most in our area have and want to take with them.

You are doing fine!!!

By: denise

denise — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:04:23 +0000

i really enjoyed this post…left me reflecting a lot on my parenting philosophies, values and how to implement them…in so many ways i'm over-protective and in other ways i fear i give my children too much freedom and want them to be overly trusting in areas maybe they should have fear? i'll have to read that book you mentioned and mainly just trust my intuition…thank you for a thought provoking post!

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:03:49 +0000

YES. We cannot smother our children with overprotection. We want to, of course. But we do them a great disservice. I like the idea of the pivot. Right now my youngest daughter is learning to walk, and she literally pivots like a pro basketball player. It's hysterical to watch, and next time as I giggle I'm going to be thinking about how she is growing into her own self and finding her way. Oh the mixed emotions of motherhood.

By: Belinda Munoz

Belinda Munoz — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:07:33 +0000

Lindsey, this is a major struggle for me. While I'm awe-struck by how much of a unique individual my almost 3-yr old boy is, everyday, my instinct to hold tight defeats my common sense to let go. I admire your example.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:57:36 +0000

"I love my children too much to handicap them with overprotection."

Lovely, Lindsey.

It seems to me that parenting is a constant exercise in letting go - from the moment we first hand over our newborns into the arms of the delivery room nurse. The more practice we have, the easier it is on us and on them. Or so I tell myself.

By: becca

becca — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:45:44 +0000

I also ponder this often. It's brought to my attention daily as I drive down my street behind a school bus who stops at EVERY driveway to pick up a child. We used to have 7 kids at my bus stop. We walked 10 houses to get there. We walked ALONE. Our parents taught us to be careful. Taught us to look both ways. And then they let us go. Parents today don't let their kids learn ANYTHING on their own for fear of failure. And in the end, it's definitely to their detriment. But I struggle with it too. I worry more than I should. I hover more than I should. It's just so hard not too! Thanks for the eye-opener once again!

By: Aidan Donnelley Rowley

Aidan Donnelley Rowley — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:24:53 +0000

Here we have the perennial parental dilemma. How do we love with all our might, protect our little creatures from the ubiquity of harms that await them while also letting them go, letting them become strong and sturdy individuals? I do not pretend to know.