September 2009 – A Design So Vast

Trying to change the world

December 19, 2009September 30, 2009

“You’re better equipped for this world than I am,” she said. “I’m always trying to chnage the world. You know how to live in it.”
– Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker

Oh I am so uninspired today. So totally uninspired. Even the bright zinnias I bought at the farmer’s market did not enliven any creativity. But, ah! Farmer’s market! That’s because it is day 3 of my Eat Like an Adult effort. This is an attempt to stop getting deathly sick every 3 months. Hoping a few more vegetables and a little less licorice might motivate my immune system from its current death slump. I also ordered the vitamins you recommended, Hads.

Kelly, I loved your post today about 10 things you had learned in 1o days. Made me think what – if anything – I have learned in the last 10 days. Not sure there are 10. In fact these are less learnings and more random musings, and sadly much less wise and thoughtful than yours, Kelly!

1. A week in bed is definitely not all bad. I did not feel bored at all. I also did not make any substantial dent in The Stack, sadly enough (no, immune system and universe, I am not asking for yet another retreat-into-bed illness).

2. It is both possible and really, really lovely to reconnect with an old friend after some years of ebb tide. A true friend is one where you can jump right back in.

3. Brie + guacamole + sauvignon blanc = a balanced dinner.

4. I have no idea what I think about the H1N1 vaccine and the mercury and the rushing the whole thing to market. I do not know what to do re: the children and welcome any and all input. I’ve never gotten them even regular flu shots as my pediatrician has always generally convinced me not to, but this year he has changed his tune so they will get those. But the swine flu specific one? My gut is saying no.

5. I am relearning and rediscovering my passion for Planned Parenthood through agreeing to co-chair the annual Cambridge house party. I really do dig that organization and everyone I’ve met who is involved. I’m honored to co-chair though as usual tremendously uncomfortable asking for money.

6. 3 weekends in a row away from home = 2 too many

7. I will not be running the BAA 1/2 marathon on October 11th. Very sad. In fact I wonder when I will ever run again. I’m still coughing a little and generally feeling exhausted.

Seven. Random. All I’ve got today.

as we are

December 19, 2009September 29, 2009

We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are. – Anais Nin

worth hearing again

Honest & Scrappy

January 4, 2010September 29, 2009

Wow, so Aidan of Ivy League Insecurities surprised me today by bequeathing The Honest Scrap Award. Cool. My first bloggy award! It’s an award for “honesty and sincerity” in blogging and I could not be more touched. Because, just as Aidan says, I strive to be honest and sincere and know that this is something that is not always natural for me, who likes so much to please people and to be just who they want me to be. No. No more! This blog has been one place where I’ve been working out Who I Really Am in a way that I deeply hope is honest and sincere and yes, scrappy.

So, I learned the rules (and a lot else) from Aidan, who says I am supposed to share ten honest things about myself and then pass the award on to seven bloggers I think deserve it. My initial thought is it’s damn hard to think of ten interesting things about myself, but I will try.

1. I cry almost every day.
2. The things I like least about my physical self are: insomnia, cold sores, overly muscular legs
3. When I was learning to drive I almost drove my parents’ old Jeep into the ocean. My dad was shotgun. I was so scarred by that that I still can’t drive stick shift.
4. I am tone deaf.
5. I warm up really quickly to people but have a hard time being authentically vulnerable.
6. My godmothers are really important to me and I am profoundly honored to be godmother to three children now. I was really scared I would never have that special relationship with anyone.
7. I’m really uncomfortable about aging; getting old terrifies me.
8. I constantly count things in groups of eight (cars in a parking lot, window panes, ceiling tiles) and click them off on my teeth as I count (Aspergers, or OCD, anyone? also, teeth being worn down to nubs).
9. I wish I hadn’t gone to business school and know now I went out of inertia and a sense of what I “should” do rather than any real passion for it.
10. I still print out photographs and assemble old-school photo albums, creating several per year. I think my house will be overtaken by the photo albums.

And now my seven bloggers!

1. Mama at The Elmo Wallpaper

2. Kelly at kellydiels.com

3. Diana at Diana’s Notebook

4. Jenn at Breed ‘Em and Weep

5. Kate at sweet/salty

6. Launa at Wherever Launa Goes, There She Is

7. Jen at jengray.com