The reflection of our true selves


Back from Italy. It was a whirlwind trip but a wonderful one. Being with Kara, Quincy, Charlotte, Courtney, Lacy, and others is a reminder of who I am. With a couple of important exceptions these are the people who know me best and whose attention, love, and wisdom grounds me.

Quincy, Dave, Sage and I spent Saturday in Assisi which was absolutely lovely; I’ve been there before (with my family a long time ago) and once again found it both beautiful and tremendously moving. Quincy noted that Dave had had the pleasure of a day with “two of her” (this in a one-more-person-to-nag-me tone!) – she commented that we are very much alike and I find this to be a huge compliment. I can share with Quincy things that are bothering me and she has the deep reserve of experience as well as the long-distance perspective to offer extraordinary insight. This kind of friendship is a balm.

The Crawfords put on a glorious celebration. Lacy was aglow. There were personal details at every turn: a runner with love quotations written on it, eloquent toasts, and beautiful poems excerpted in the program. The party was also just plain FUN: at the end of the evening I wound up in the tent with Courtney and Charlotte, laughing and watching fireworks. I was 18 again, a nervous and intimidated freshman, and these beautiful, brilliant women impressed me now as much as they did then. We reminisced and laughed and commented that though we talk rarely when we are together we slip back instantly into the same comfortable, familiar grooves.

I went on from Italy to a work meeting and had an extraordinarily wonderful two days by myself. Some of the best ever, actually. For the women I have loved since 1992, and for the days in Europe alone, I am deeply grateful.


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